Beached Sperm Whale Suicide Sucks Funny Birthday Card

$3.89 (includes envelope), as low as

Quantity	Price Per Card
1 - 1*	$3.89
2 - 4*	$3.39
5 - 9	$3.19
10 - 24	$3.09
25 - 49	$2.79
50 - 99	$2.59
100 - 199*	$2.19
200 - 499*	$2.09
500 - 999*	$1.69
1,000 - 2,999*	$1.59
3,000+*	See bulk pricing
* Orders with less than 5 cards or exceeding 99 cards are not eligible for FedEx Office pickup.

$1.59

Inside text only

© Dan Brown

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Folded 7" x 5" greeting card

On a cloudy gray day a dying sperm whale lies on the beach. His jaw hangs open, revealing a row of massive teeth. His body is scratched and scarred from a lifetime of hostile encounters. Two men in cold weather gear, one kneeling, one standing, on the whale’s head just behind his eye look for signs of life. In front of the whale a third man gestures, to what purpose we don’t know. Above the whale’s head is a thought balloon: “Yup, suicide sucks. But at least I’m at the beach.” The perfect black humor card for the eternal optimist in your life. Only from FunnyBone Greetings.