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Punctuation (Read 1978 times)
Tom_133317
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Punctuation
May 28th, 2009, 10:39pm
 
One thing I'd like some feedback on is Image Art punctuation.  I tend to be all over the place with it.  Is there a proven industry standard?
 
Caps
Commas
Periods
Quotes
 
Here is a Business Birthday card I'm finishing, and I can think of several ways to present the text.  I'm not sure if what I have here is the best approach.  
 
Should Birthday be capitalized?
Should I add commas anywhere?
Should there be a period, as it is a complete sentence.
 
Comments please.

 
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Corrie_131338
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #1 - May 28th, 2009, 11:11pm
 
This is just my opinion, Tom, but I wouldn't capitalize "birthday" in this sentence. Grammatically speaking, it doesn't need commas (more on that in a second). From a greeting card industry standpoint, I don't think I've ever seen a period at the end of a title, even if it was a sentence.
 
Having said that, I'll be honest and tell you I find the sentence a bit awkwardly constructed. Might it be better to day something more like...
 
"We should have known he'd have a speech prepared for his birthday"
 
Corrie
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Pattiann_132699
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #2 - May 28th, 2009, 11:36pm
 
Birthday, properly, should not be capped, but I can see where you could get away with it on a caption. Few people would have a problem with it as-is.
No commas needed.
No period needed, as this is a caption. I'm visualizing it with a full stop and I'm thinking that it would look out of place.
Properly, the sentence should read: "We should have known that on his birthday he'd have a speech prepared." The way the sentence is currently written means that the speakers ("We") should have possessed the information on "his" birthday, not any other day. I think that's different than what you mean to say: That on his birthday, the subject of the sentence would have a speech prepared and "we" should have known that. Hope that makes sense. It's almost 2:30 AM here in the east!
 
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Pattiann_132699
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #3 - May 28th, 2009, 11:44pm
 
I'm going to go with Corrie's suggested sentence recast. It accomplishes two things: 1 less word than my original suggestion. Without changing the font size, you only have so much room. And it puts the word you want to emphasize at the end of the sentence, so you can do away with the capped "B" on birthday. A word at the beginning or end of a sentence is going to get more attention when card shoppers are quickly scanning the card fronts.
 
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Joan_135833
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #4 - May 29th, 2009, 4:01am
 
Corrie's revision is a good solution, for reasons outlined above, so I'd like to cast my vote for that. I'd also like to agree that no period is required, despite it being a complete sentence; writing conventions dictate that the period be dropped from titles (of books, also). In addition, it's better to find other ways (placement, as above; italics; contrasting color; contrasting font) to emphasize a word rather than using capitalization, even if the audience would not take issue with it. Often, though, the strongest emphasis is to have none. You as a comedic writer know this instinctively: a line delivered deadpan can be the most effective. I think it's a fear (understandable) of not coming across clearly that makes us over-emphasize the point we're hoping to make, and we constantly have to struggle to resist that temptation.
 
Quotation marks and commas are subject to fairly quirky rules in cartoons and on greeting cards, a topic, perhaps, for a later chapter.
 
Please forgive me; I don't mean to sound pompous. I've done an awful lot of proof-reading and editing in my strange career!  
 
Joan
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Catherine_136771
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #5 - May 29th, 2009, 5:18am
 
I'm glad you raised the punctuation topic, Tom.  I find myself using a lot of exclamation points and "..." because the partial sentences and titles look so naked.  I was never tempted to use exclamation points as a magazine editor, but now I seem to get carried away!!!!!!!! See, there it happened again.  Thanks to everyone for their information, too.   Grin
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Janet_134086
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #6 - May 29th, 2009, 8:38pm
 
I`m a bit late on this...
but I would have written it out like this,
I also think its wonderful the way it is, as all your stuff is a hoot Tom!
 
"We should have known he`d have a speech prepared for his birthday"
 
 
Hugs, Janet Lee
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Tom_133317
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #7 - May 29th, 2009, 9:24pm
 
Thanks all.  Good feedback.  
 
As a kid I remember one of the funniest lines that perhaps got me started on my humorous writing ways.  It was "Throw Grandpa down the stairs his glasses."  I think I was about 8, and it was in an English phonics workbook.  That indirect object in a prepositional phrase can be made to sound rather funny, and I think it has caused me to naturally write in a twisted sentence structure like I did in the example above.
 
I'm going to stop adding periods.  That's good to know.  I likely will still capitalize Birthday on a Birthday card, for emphasis, and I'll now think more about untwisting my twisted sentence structure.  Commas are something I will have to study more and perhaps post the rules along side my monitor, or is it, perhaps, post the rules along side my monitor (?) undecided
 
The reviewers have never spanked me for misuse of caps, commas, structure, or periods; only spelling.  Perhaps they should.  What do you guys think?  It could get a bit debatable, for instance do you use caps for:
 
1.  Happy Birthday
2.  Happy birthday to you brother   <---  
3.  Have a Happy Birthday
4.  Wishing you a happy birthday, brother
 
Thanks again!
 
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Pattiann_132699
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #8 - May 29th, 2009, 10:18pm
 
1.  Happy Birthday
I would cap. Display text can fudge the rules a little. I treat card front text as a headline, with a few variations. Happy birthday would be correct, too, but doesn't stand as strong, does it?
2.  Happy birthday to you brother   <---  
Happy birthday to you, Brother.
This sentence needs a comma and I would cap brother b/c it's being used as a proper noun.
3.  Have a Happy Birthday
Same as #1
4.  Wishing you a happy birthday, brother
Wishing you a happy birthday, Brother
or Wishing you a Happy Birthday, Brother
 
Now, if you were to say:
Happy Birthday to my brother, "brother" would not need to be capped.  
 
All of this depends on where the text is appearing, don't you agree? I treat card front text as if I'm writing a headline, but inner text I write more conventionally.  
 
Pattiann
 
Quote from Tom_133317 on May 29th, 2009, 9:24pm:


 It could get a bit debatable, for instance do you use caps for:

1.  Happy Birthday
2.  Happy birthday to you brother   <---
3.  Have a Happy Birthday
4.  Wishing you a happy birthday, brother

Thanks again!


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Janet_134086
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #9 - May 30th, 2009, 1:56am
 
Tom, that`s funny, when I was younger I was sitting in an Amish restaurant with my grandparents, and one of the ladies said..."Out`ten The Lights" meaning of`course Dim the lights, I thought it was pretty cool, and I say it whenever I want the lights off.  
I, along with many others here at GCU, enjoy your cards, and I believe you are having a lot of success with sales, so...don`t out`ten the lights, it obviously works for you.  Smiley
Hugs, Janet Lee
 
* What`s in the road..a head?  Tongue
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Tom_133317
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #10 - May 30th, 2009, 7:00am
 
Thanks Janet, and I like your story about "out" and a-head.  That is one of the things I enjoy about language is the play-on-words that emerge, and word or expression origins.  I actually have several books on idioms and phrase origins that are fun to read.
 
As for my success, my May numbers are as dead as a door nail.  Between the economy and the new menu, I think I was hit by a double whammy. Cool
 
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Audrey_132599
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #11 - May 30th, 2009, 11:32am
 
Hi Tom,
 
Your caption might sound better reworded as others have suggested. No comas are neccessary. If you feel you want a resting place for the reader, you can split the caption.  
 
For example put *On his birthday*  above the photo and then the zinger on the bottom.  This supplies a little more punch.
 
The sales for the  month of May have been horrible for me too. Disappointing after sales were increasing steadily.
 
~Audrey
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Janet_134086
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Re: Punctuation
Reply #12 - May 30th, 2009, 12:46pm
 
Lol, Tom, I remember a book I read awhile ago, on how to remember people by thinking up something funny about them (in your head..) like, if a guy has a potato head and his last name is smith, you can remember him by Mr. Potato Head Smith. Its never worked for me, but again..funny. Tongue
 
Audrey, that`s a wonderful suggestion, splitting the words from top to bottom.
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